Most moderators have one of two things: either a big charisma or a small ego. The combination of those two is very rare, yet both are of crucial importance.
Charisma helps to get a room or a group on board. It is (part of) your role as moderator to be in charge of the meeting. And so people have to want to follow you. That is easier with a good pinch of charisma.
Note: charisma is not the same as a prominent presence. It can also be done in a very modest way. But often modesty means a certain degree of dullness, inconspicuousness. You see how thin this line is?
On the other hand, a moderator who is mainly egoless gets the full focus on the participants much easier. And that is what it is all about in the end: that the group comes into its own, that each individual feels seen & loved and that the moderator uses his/her skills only to make that happen.
Too much ego gets in the way. As soon as it starts to revolve around the moderator, it becomes a personality show. That can be very entertaining, fun to watch and easy to consume. But it is not effective if you want to make progress with a group.
Of course, there are events where charisma is so important that you can hire a moderator with an enormous ego without harm. And there are certainly occasions where safety and modesty are so important that the egoless moderator may well be a little inconspicuous.
But in the vast majority of cases, egoless charisma is what you need. Few moderators have that. And that is why very few moderators are really good.
Jan-Jaap In der Maur
